What if the most overlooked four minutes in your worship service hold some of the greatest potential for formation? Erin Reed Cooper provides us with seven intentional shifts that can transform the children’s moment into a theologically rich experience for the entire congregation.
In many congregations, it’s a familiar scene: a few minutes into the worship service, children are invited to the front. There’s a short story or activity, maybe some laughter from the pews, a prayer, and then the children head back to their seats or to a separate program. The rest of the service resumes.
There’s a lot to love about this tradition. It acknowledges children as part of the worshipping community. It creates moments of spontaneity and joy. It gives young people a space that feels made for them. But what if we could do more with those four or five minutes? Here are key shifts your congregation can start making now.
1. Include children’s moment leaders in worship planning.
The Children’s Moment shouldn’t be an afterthought tacked onto the service. Whoever leads it—pastor, educator, or laity—needs to be included in worship planning from the beginning. They need time to study the scripture, engage with the sermon’s themes, and prepare intentionally.
- A helpful focusing question: “What is God doing in this scripture?”
- Try completing the sentence: “In this passage, God ____.” That clarity will keep the children’s content theologically consistent with the rest of the service—and developmentally accessible.
2. Build relationship, not just content.
For many leaders, the Children’s Moment is the only regular, personal point of contact with the youngest members of the congregation. Use it that way. Make eye contact with each child. Be warm. Remember names. The trust and connection built in these brief moments becomes emotional capital that matters far beyond Sunday morning.
3. Skip the object lesson for young children.
If the children coming forward are younger than nine or so, they are almost certainly not following your object lesson (the one where the soul is like a tube of toothpaste, or why love is like a Tootsie Pop). Children in early and middle childhood are still developing the cognitive capacity for abstract comparison. But that doesn’t mean you can’t use objects.
Objects that help tell the story—like those used in Godly Play or Children Worship & Wonder—work beautifully. Anything children can directly interact with works even better. What doesn’t work: expecting young children to grasp a metaphor and carry it with them. But go ahead and give them a Tootsie Pop with their adults’ permission!
4. Ask open questions and be okay with ambiguity.
Some of the most effective children’s preaching provokes thoughtful wondering rather than leading children to a predetermined conclusion. Open-ended questions build more neural pathways and encourage genuine engagement. “I wonder what that’s all about” is a perfectly valid ending.
That said: don’t let theologically harmful comments slip by unchallenged. If a child repeats something they’ve heard—about hell, punishment, or who God doesn’t love—it’s okay to gently say, “I’d like to talk more about that with you,” and follow up. Your silence in that moment can read as endorsement.
5. Use rhythm and ritual.
You don’t need to reinvent the Children’s Moment every week. In fact, predictability is a feature, not a bug. Consistent opening and closing rituals—such as a recurring phrase, a set of mats the children bring out, or a call-and-response—help all children relax into the moment and are especially supportive for neurodivergent participants of any age.
For example: “When we gather, I say ‘God is here,’ and you respond, ‘God is everywhere.’” Simple, easily repeated, and genuinely formative.
6. Watch your language.
Small word choices carry big messages.
- Replace “Welcome, boys and girls…” with “Welcome, young people,” “friends,” or “disciples.”
- Replace “Your mom and dad,” with “The adults who care for you.”
- Avoid assuming family structure, gender identity, or cultural background.
- This can be an opportunity to normalize they/them pronouns for God, allowing that to fall on the congregation’s listening ears.
These aren’t just gestures toward inclusion: they are acts of pastoral care that children and their families will notice and remember.
7. Bring a teammate.
The person leading the Children’s Moment shouldn’t do it alone. A second adult should sit with the children during the moment, not to police behavior, but to model engagement, minimize distraction, and support the leader. Parents accompanying young children are often unprepared to facilitate the experience for everyone. A dedicated teammate fills that gap.
The Bigger Picture
Here’s what makes this worth getting right: the Children’s Moment is not just for children. The congregation is watching. When adults see children being taken seriously, asked genuine questions, given theologically honest answers, treated with dignity, it reshapes what the whole community believes about who belongs in worship.
Don’t try so hard to make it cute. Try harder to make it matter.
Related Resources
- (Re)imagining the Children’s Message with Erin Reed Cooper, an online workshop from the Hub for (Re)imagining Ministry at Wesley Theological Seminary
- When No Children Come Forward: How Churches Can Grow Young Again by Laura Heikes
- Does Your Church Truly Embrace Children or Merely Tolerate Them? by Sam Rainer
- 50 Ways to Strengthen Ministry with Children, a free Lewis Center resource
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