The Power of Conversation


Church consultant Bill Owen describes how effective leaders understand the importance of conversation in shaping culture. They learn the subtle art of reframing narratives in healthy and constructive ways.

Church people talk. They talk about all kinds of things. They talk about the pastor, her sermon, how many people used to be in worship, and what we ought to be doing but haven’t yet. This kind of talk can be threatening, but it doesn’t have to be. Having people care enough about what’s happening at church to talk about it is a good thing. Conversation creates culture. It’s the path toward vitality and growth.

Never underestimate the power of conversation, whether in the hallways, around the table, or from the pulpit. It all matters.

Reframe the Narrative

Effective church leaders must learn that the surest way out of an unhealthy climate is by changing the narrative, by reframing how people talk. This process is nuanced, but the Gospels help.

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all began as conversations. These writing evangelists stood in a long line of communicators, stringing together stories told and retold, heard and recounted. They gathered the best and wrote them down so parents could recite them to their children and teachers to their students and neighbors to their neighbors. Before long, friends from remote places were also talking about Jesus as the Son of God. The political talking heads tried to spurn Jesus’ story by mocking him and killing him for blasphemy. But those who had been near him had gotten word to those now far off that he was so much more. They re-authored the culture surrounding Jesus’ story all because the church people decided to talk.

Conversations Can Be Powerful

If you think about it, not one of us would have ever come to faith apart from someone having said something to us. Words as simple as, “Hey, why don’t you come to church with me?” Maybe it was, “I’ll pray for you,” or “God bless.” Whatever it may have been, the fact is someone at one time or another said something that touched us, “spoke” to us, or maybe challenged or even angered us. It whetted our appetites or made us curious enough to take a step toward God.

This is how church has worked for two millennia now. It thrives on people talking to one another. This is how a carpenter’s son from Nazareth becomes known all over the world. People talk and word travels. People talk and lives transform. People talk and churches are established. People talk and systems get established like hospitals and nonprofits to help the poor, cure the sick, and mend the broken. Just think what churches have accomplished, are accomplishing, and still can accomplish by how they focus their talk.

But beware. Having people care enough about what’s happening to talk about it can also be bad. Unhealthy conversations that go unchecked damage culture. It leads down a path of dissension and decline. Too often we underestimate the effects of how people talk. Serious matters treated too casually or electronically reduced to 140-word tweets or diminished to emoticons or scrolled across the bottom of television monitors threaten the culture being shaped.

What We Say Matters

Talk is seldom cheap. What we say, when, and how we say it count. It matters in every realm — political, relational, and spiritual. When political leaders articulate with moral clarity our highest values, citizens rally to form a more perfect union. When friends surround one another during times of crisis, words of comfort and concern give strength and peace. When a neighbor tells the truth in love to one who has asked for it, when a spouse ends a quarrel with forgiveness, when a teacher bends to encourage a student to use her voice because every child matters — each makes a difference.

Never underestimate the power of conversation, whether in the hallways, around the table, or from the pulpit. It all matters. It’s easy to settle for tepid, empty words — to exchange pleasantries, bless the status quo, comment on the weather, or exchange sports scores. Don’t be duped. While everyday banter can help build rapport and establish trust, conversation left alone or left unshaped is not pastoral leadership.

Articulate a Clear Vision

Good pastors articulate a consistent, clear vision of a God-sized future; communities of faith respond. Effective pastors are able to spread the message: “Here’s the picture; this is what we’re doing; here’s why we’re doing it; if things go right, here’s what the picture will look like a year from now.” The really good pastors are able to use their pulpits to offer a prophetic call to congregations to follow the narrative of Jesus without feeling threatened by a low trust culture. The best pastors are able to get their ministerial staffs to also be collaborative leaders shaping the new narrative while they lead teams.

When this occurs, specific steps of implementation follow and real ministry takes root shaping the church’s culture, spilling over into the life of the community. Healthy churches and pastors know how to establish a high trust culture that focuses attention on what and how people talk. Churches that put a premium on healthy, intentional conversations thrive.

People are going to talk. Why not make it a healthy conversation?

This article is reprinted from the newsletter of The Center for Healthy Churches. Used by permission.

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About Author

Dr. Bill Owen is a Congregational Consultant and Coach for the Center for Healthy Churches. For 32 years, he was pastor of Mt. Carmel Baptist Church in Cross Plains, TN.

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Discovering God’s Future for Your Church

Discovering God’s Future for Your Church is a turn-key tool kit to help your congregation discern and implement God’s vision for its future. The resource guides your church in discovering clues to your vision in your history and culture, your current congregational strengths and weaknesses, and the needs of your surrounding community. The tool kit features videos, leader’s guides, discussion exercises, planning tools, handouts, diagrams, worksheets, and more. Learn more and watch an introductory video now.