Speaking the Truth in Love to a Longtime Member
by Gary A. Shockley

During my third year as pastor of the Austin Church in north-central Pennsylvania, I faced a leadership crisis that threatened the effectiveness of my ministry there. The church had been experiencing significant numerical and financial growth. New faces entered the sanctuary every week and for the most part were warmly welcomed into the church. However, one woman – the matriarchal leader of the church –                       was threatened by this growth.

I had heard rumors that Lillian had been quietly trying to dissuade people from visiting our church, that she would say things like "You don't want to come to our church, because our pastor is terrible" or “Our church is much too old and formal for younger families like yours.” Of course, I didn't believe Lillian could be saying such things. Why wouldn't she want the church – her church – to prosper? Then one Sunday, I heard Lillian speaking loudly to a new family, "If new people like you keep coming to our church, there won't be enough room for those of us who belong here.” I couldn't believe my ears!

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Eight Strategies for Managing Conflict

In her book Getting to Amen: Eight Strategies for Managing Conflict in the African American Church, Lora-Ellen McKinney summarizes key strategies for managing conflict in what she calls “The 8 P’s.”

• Prayer – When the pain that causes rifts is in God’s house, the first step on the path to healing must be prayer.
• Preaching – As the platform from which most parishioners get their information, the sermon can either be a tool for healing or it can contribute to divisiveness in the church.

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Leaders do not need answers.
Leaders must have the right questions.

Because of this question, a congregation set about looking for their living edges to support instead of spending inordinate energy trying to rejuvenate once vital programs that no longer reach people:

Why do you look for the living among the dead? Luke 24:5

Editors:  Lovett H. Weems, Jr. and Ann A. Michel
Production and distribution:  Joe Arnold

Copyright © 2008 by the G. Douglass Lewis Center for Church Leadership. Leading Ideas material may be freely distributed with attribution (exclusive of material protected by separate copyright).